Don’t Love, Don’t Lose

“I know you, my girl. You’ve been looking into him. Did you find anything?”

“No,” Jasmine had to admit grudgingly.

“Maybe it’s because there’s nothing to find. You know, Jas, I worry about you. You look at everything with such a suspicious eye. Sometimes you have to just trust that things will take care of themselves and let go, just a little bit. I’m not saying you have to jump on a table and dance naked, but you could loosen up a little.”

“Trust is a mug’s game, Aunt Della. I only trust you and Rita, and I think that’s quite enough.”

“I knew you’d say that. And it doesn’t help me worry any less, darling. You have to open your heart a little. You have to… Oh, Jas, I’ve got to go.”

“Is everything all right?”

“Sure, sure it is. It’s just something’s come up at work. You know how it is. You make sure you eat your lunch now. I’ll see you later.”

Della hung up on Jasmine.

Jasmine frowned at her phone, eyes narrowed, brow furrowed.

Della never hung up on her. What was going on?

Whatever it was, she didn’t like it.

That vague sense that she didn’t like Anthony Malone or his operation intensified as Jasmine went back to work, wishing she could’ve convinced her aunt not to take that job after all.

Maybe she should call Rita and talk to her about it. Maybe between the two of them, they could convince Della to…

Who was she kidding? Nobody had ever been able to convince Della to do anything she didn’t want to do. And when Della made up her mind to do something, she did it, no matter what. She had apparently made up her mind to do this. There wasn’t much anybody could do about it.

Besides, a lunchtime emergency at work didn’t really mean anything unless it happened all the time.

She was obviously making too much of it. But Jasmine couldn’t help feeling that something was off. It kept her distracted for the rest of the day, which only annoyed her more.

“Damn it,” she muttered as she messed up code for the fiftieth time that day, or so it seemed to her.

“Is everything all right?”

Jasmine looked up and smiled at the young woman who’d asked her that. Anita was the only other black woman on her team, and Jasmine had wanted to take the younger woman under her wing. She’d found out quickly enough that Anita didn’t need to be under anybody’s wing. The girl had wings of her own, and boy, she could fly.

“Yeah, I just can’t seem to get my head together.”

Anita grinned. Really, Anita reminded her of herself.

Well, Anita reminded her of the person she might have become if the worst hadn’t happened when she was eleven years old.

“Take a break, and come back to it tomorrow. That’s what you tell me when I can’t get something straight, remember?”

Jasmine grinned.

“And you’re turning it back on me, are you? Well, I can’t say that’s not smart, at any rate. Maybe I should. I can’t do anything useful now, I might as well get some paperwork done.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant that you should take a real break. Go out with a young man and paint a few walls red, at least.”

Jasmine wrinkled her nose at just the thought.

“Very funny, Anita.”

“I meant it, but I suppose it wouldn’t be you.”

Anita wandered back to her station, and Jasmine struggled for a little longer with the program she was supposed to be writing. But it was no good. She couldn’t get it.

She felt as if she was waiting for something to happen – something she didn’t necessarily want. It was an odd feeling, and it was probably complete nonsense, but she couldn’t shake it.

She couldn’t even shake it long enough to get her paperwork done. Finally, she gave up and left, more than a little annoyed with how the day had gone. She was supposed to be reliable and dependable, not a flake like that.

She had worked too hard to just let things go. She was supposed to be the one person who…

Jasmine was adjusting the mirrors in the car when her phone rang. Her annoyance only increased as she tried to dig her phone out of her purse – really, purses were useless, she could never find what she was looking for, and that meant that they really didn’t serve all of their purpose, didn’t it?

Finally, she managed, and all annoyance drained away when she saw who was calling.

“Aunt Della? Is everything all right?”

“I… Sure, I think everything’s fine.”

All her senses sharpened keenly. Aunt Della was upset. Nobody except Rita and her were allowed to upset Aunt Della.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I might need a favor from you, Jas. I’m sorry to ask, baby. I know how busy you are, and you work yourself far too hard. And now I’m asking you to do something more for me on top of all of that. You know what, forget it, darling. I can handle it just fine on my own.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Aunt Della. Tell me what you need. Whatever it is, I’ll make time for it. I promise. Just tell me what it is that you need.”

Aunt Della hesitated, still.

Why did she feel as if something monumental was about to happen? Jasmine didn’t do monumental. Jasmine did normal, and expected. She did not like surprises. Surprises had a way of turning nasty no matter what they seemed to be at first.

“I… Are you sure, Jas? Are you really sure you have time?”

“Of course.”

“Well, then,” said Aunt Della, and she explained, as Jasmine listened in growing astonishment, wondering what the hell she was getting herself into.