Destiny

Chapter 8

As Destiny walked along the green pastures that were Jourdan’s home, she took in the crisp, clean air and felt very happy indeed. She wanted life to be like this every single day for her, but she knew that in order to do that she would have to be with Jourdan and she was honestly unsure if that was what she wanted or not.

It was such a huge commitment to make. The possible bad endings to these scenarios kept repeating in her head, until she could do nothing but worry about the future of her child. She had been staying with Jourdan for two months now, and she was starting to show properly. She had enough time, she thought. At least six and a half more months until it would be time for her to make a decision about what she wanted to do with her life and the life of her child. She just did not want to rush into a decision, as this was the sort of thing that you must think about carefully before you get into it.

Jourdan walked up to her and handed her a flower. “Isn’t it beautiful?” he said.

“It is,” said Destiny. She had been walking every day with Jourdan for the past two weeks and it had been a lovely experience for her. It had allowed her to get comfortable with being around Jourdan, and no matter how much she tried, she was not able to take away from the fact that Jourdan truly did make her happy, happier than any other man had been able to over the course of her life.

“There is no flower in the world like it,” asked Jourdan. “The fragrance from this flower cannot be found anywhere else in the world. It is one of the reasons I love my home so much. The smell of this flower reminds me of my home so much, it reminds me of all of the things that I have to gain by coming back every time I leave. Whenever I have to go on a business trip of some sort, I make sure that I keep the fragrance of this flower with me in a little bottle. Perfume, you could say, but I never put it on. I only open the tiny bottle and smell the fragrance once in a while so that I am able to remember my home. I miss it terribly, you see, all the time. I cannot think of a single situation where I would want to leave this place.”

“And yet you are ready to move to New York if I do not accept your offer to be with you,” said Destiny. It was not meant to sting, she did not want to hurt Jourdan’s feelings, but she knew that this was something that needed to be discussed. Chantal was right, she needed to open up a line of communication with the man that was going to be the father of her child. If she wanted her child to be happy and to have everything that it could possibly want from life, she needed to be open to the fact that Jourdan would have to say certain things to her that she might not like.

“Of course I am ready to do that,” said Jourdan. “I am ready to do that because the fate of my child hangs in the balance. You see, my father was very careless of me while I was growing up. He never really paid much attention to me, never gave me any of the things I needed. Instead, he would always hand me off to one of the servants and tell them to take care of me. Whenever I would be there, I would feel like I was unwanted. I would feel like my own father hated me. I do not want that to be the fate of my child. I want my child to know that I love him, and to know that I care about him. When our child comes into this world. I want it to know that it was loved more than anything else. I want it to know that I am willing to do anything for it.”

“That is… very selfless,” said Destiny. Once again, she was floored by just how much Jourdan loved the child that had not even come into this world yet. She felt like he was something out of a dream, like he was the sort of person that would do anything for her baby. This was the kind of person that her child deserved as a father. She did not realize it yet again, but she had taken another step towards accepting this man as her life partner. It was a small step, but one after the other she was approaching the concept and it did not seem all that bad to her at all.

She walked along the road, calmly humming under her breath. It was such a beautiful day, it had everything that she could have possibly wanted from the landscape around her.

“I do not think that it is selfless,” said Jourdan. “In fact, I think that it is the sort of thing that I am supposed to do. After all, this is my child, my own flesh and blood. If I am not there for it at all times, if I am not ready to sacrifice everything for it, then who will be?”

“That is true,” said Destiny, “that is very true indeed. You are a wonderful man, Jourdan.”

Jourdan looked at her. He seemed almost surprised that she had said this to him. All at once, Destiny felt something inside her clench. She realized that it was love, true and intense and passionate love, the sort of love that you do not feel until you have fallen for a person completely. She did not care about anything else in that moment. She just wanted this man to know just how much she loved him.

She was somewhat startled by this realization. She had not been expecting to fall in love with him. She laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of this fact. How could she not have fallen in love with this amazing man? He was everything she could ever want from a partner and more, he was objectively a very, very good man and she was lucky to have him in her life. In spite of herself, she laughed and laughed and Jourdan looked at her with no small amount of confusion.

“What is funny?” he asked.

“Oh nothing,” said Destiny. “Nothing at all. It is just that… I guess you are a very wonderful human being, and I know that I have not made you feel that way. I suppose it must confuse you, the fact that I am so distant towards you. Know that I do not intend to be this way in order to hurt your feelings. I just want to be safe, I want to keep myself away from all chance of harm.”

“I understand that,” said Jourdan. “I understand that completely. And I am willing to give you time, as much time as you need until you can decide what it is that you want. You see, I understand the gravity of the decision that you have to make. If you are not careful, you could end up getting hurt. You know me, but you have not known me for very long. Hence, you need some time to process the emotions that you are feeling so that you can fully understand how to proceed without harming yourself or the safety of your child.”

“Why are you so understanding all of the time?” asked Destiny, sounding almost frustrated. Jourdan looked at her and said, “Does this annoy you?”

“No,” said Destiny. “I mean, yes. I mean… no. No, it does not. Why would it? It is one of the things I like most about you. It just makes me feel guilty I guess. It makes me feel guilty because I am not giving you any answers. You are being so nice to me and understanding and I am just not giving you a chance at all, am I?”