Darker The Forbidden Berry

“I can’t. I can’t talk about it, okay?” She whispered with her voice thick with fear as the tears pooled in her eyes.

Jaleeyah nodded and put the car in drive. “I’m not going to ask you to talk about it, but I’m also not going to leave you to deal with it alone, okay?”

Aja did not respond to that. She was lost in her own world again. Her stomach was doing different kinds of flips and she could feel the bile burning in her throat. Was this more morning sickness? Or was this fear?

*****

Aja wanted to call Finn and beg him to rush home, but the last thing she wanted was for him to panic and for him to see her panic. Jaleeyah had left about an hour ago at Aja’s request and the house was lonely and offered no distraction. So Aja just curled up on the couch and tried to distract herself with doing some drawing in her art book. She found that the pregnancy wouldn’t leave her mind, so she documented it. dark lines formed a belly with a baby inside. Two sets of hands rested over the rounded belly, sunbeams emanating from them.

The picture was far more hopeful than the actual dread she felt deep in her heart. What if Finn asked her to get rid of it? What if she kept it anyway? Surely he wouldn’t want her around anymore. What if his parents freaked out and forced her to put the baby up for adoption? There were so many possibilities rattling around in her head. that she did not even hear the door click open and close.

“Aja! I decided on some light salads. I thought the veggies might agree with your stomach.”

Aja gasped and slammed her drawing book close, practically sitting on it to try and hide it. She scrambled to sit up and stared at Finn with wide eyes that gave away the terror flowing through her veins. Finn stopped in the doorway, a white plastic bag hanging from his fingers.

He blinked and looked her up and down. “Are you okay?”

She started to open her mouth to speak, but the words were lodged in her throat. Slowly, she shook her head as the tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh baby,” he whispered, setting the food down and all but running over to her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry!” She choked out, burying her face in his shoulder, trying to comfort herself with his scent. “I did not mean for it to happen!”

“What? What are you talking about, baby?” He cooed, keeping his voice low and calming as he rubbed her back.

She could tell he was trying to restrain himself. He was concerned about her sudden outburst, and to be honest he should have been concerned. Aja did not have the stomach to call him or text him about it, and she knew if she heard his voice she was not going to be able to lie. She swallowed thickly and clung to him, her fingers curling around his fitted, fog gray suit.

“I-I’m pregnant.”

The air around them went still and they both fell silent. Aja could swear he stopped breathing. She pulled away, unable to handle the silence that had settled between them. The tears were still coming, rolling down her cheeks in fat, warm droplets.

“I’ll do whatever we need to do,” she whispered. “If we can’t keep it…I-I understand.” It was not what she wanted, but she could not run the risk of ruining Finn’s life.

Finn’s brows were knitted together and he reached out and touched her cheek, his thumb brushing a tear away.

“Is that what you want?”

The question was not judgmental and it was not angry. His tone was even and matched the concerned look on his face. Aja felt like she should lie to him about her answer. She should just tell him it’s what she wanted so that they could move on with their lives, but when she opened her mouth to try and say it, her words betrayed her.

“No,” she whispered weakly. “I don’t.”

A small smile flickered across his face and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a

Tender and almost heartbreaking embrace.

“Then we won’t,” he whispered.

Aja sagged against him and the tears came again. Heavy sobs wracked her entire body as all of the fear and anxiety finally snapped. The dam was opened and the rush of tears that came spoke volumes. She could not even put her relief into words.

“I want my baby. I want our baby,” she choked out.

“So do I – sweets. So do I,” he assured, rocking her.

They sat on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms and soaked in Aja’s tears. When she finally pulled away, the tip of her wide-set nose was red. She rubbed it and looked up at him, eyes glassy with the remaining tears.

“You mean it?” She whispered, her voice still cracking with emotion.

“I mean it,” he promised, kissing her forehead. “It’s not exactly how I saw things going, but…I did not feel any panic when you told me,” he said, laying back and pulling her to lie on top of him.

Aja let her fingers brush across the abandoned food bags beside the couch, her eyes still cast down. She was not sure why, but there was still a part of her that somehow felt like she’d screwed Finn over.

“Honestly,” Finn continued. “I kind of figured this would happen sooner or later. I guess I got lucky that it happened with you.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I care about you. A lot….”

Her cheeks went red again and she looked up at him. Her chin was resting on his chest as she eyed him intently. Of course, she wanted to believe him without an ounce of hesitation. She really did, but years of failed relationships had her feeling cautious. Finn’s face wore a relaxed smile. He brought one hand up to rest on the top of her head, humming as he stroked the long, silken locks.

“Nothing to say to that?”

Aja chewed her bottom lip and looked up at him, her head cocked to the side.

“It’s not that I don’t want to say something…I’m just trying to find the words,” she sighed.

“Just say what’s on your mind.”

“When you told me that you cared about me, my whole brain kind of shut off,” she admitted. “It’s not really something I’m used to.”

“Surely people have loved you.”