Carrying His Baby

“Now you’ve really lost it. What exactly will you do when the baby goes to school, then, and you have far more time on your hands?”

“I’ll go into some other kind of business. Not like I won’t have the capital to do it.”

Hallie was bewildered.

“Aldous, what the hell has gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into me? I don’t want to give up my baby! I don’t want to give you up! I want both of you in my life. That’s what’s gotten into me!”

Hallie gaped yet again. He could’ve knocked her down with a feather.

“I… What?”

Aldous sighed.

“I don’t want to lose you. Either of you. I know… I don’t know.”

He sat there, looking like a lost little boy, and Hallie felt her heart swell.

He wanted them both. He had looked frustrated as hell when he said it, but he’d said it. She had believed him.

But she didn’t want to jump into it just because it was everything she had wanted, too.

“Aldous, we haven’t even dated. Not really. We met, we talked, but… We’ve done everything the wrong way around.”

He looked at her, his eyes so serious. She felt like she was drowning in them.

“I know. I kept telling myself it wouldn’t be fair to you, Hallie. Not when you’re pregnant. I… Well, they say your hormones and feelings all get pretty messed up when you’re pregnant.”

Hallie chuckled weepily.

“That’s a bit of an understatement.”

“So… I didn’t want to add more to the mix. I’m not explaining myself very well,” said Aldous, obviously frustrated, raking his fingers through his hair.

Hallie just waited. She needed to hear what he’d been thinking.

“I wanted to wait till you didn’t feel… I don’t know, resentful towards me for having to depend on me, just a bit. I wanted to wait till you were back to your old self. Then I was going to ask you out. Sweep you off your feet with grand gestures until you couldn’t resist me, actually.”

Hallie smiled.

“That’s… Not a very good plan.”

“I didn’t expect to grow to love the baby, Hallie. I thought of the baby as a responsibility. But then, we saw him, and… I love him. To wait till everything settles down for you again, that would mean giving him up. I don’t think I can bear to give him up, Hallie.”

She felt those tears breaking down that dam of resistance she had built when he said that.

Those had been the words that had been in her heart for a while. She knew she wouldn’t be able to give up that baby. She had already seen all those precious moments in her mind – his first birthday, the first time he called her mama, the first time he walked, his high school graduation. She had even felt that bittersweet pride of watching him walk away, proud and independent and strong.

She had felt as if not having the chance to experience all of that would make her heart break.

But in all her dreams, Aldous had been by her side, experiencing all those moments with her. She had pushed them aside as frivolous daydreams. But now, if he was telling the truth, it was more than a daydream. It was a dream, and it was within reach.

She could hardly believe it.

“Aldous, you need to be sure. You really, really need to be sure. This isn’t one of those things that you can change your mind about. It’s not like a girlfriend you can break up with. A child is a commitment. Forever. That really does mean forever, Aldous.”

He looked amused now.

“Hallie, I really do understand how parenthood works. You met my mother, remember? Do you really think she could’ve raised me to not know all the responsibilities and commitments of parenthood?”

“And you’ve thought about this?”

“Didn’t I just tell you that I did?”

He sounded exasperated now.

“Look, Hallie, I’m not saying we’ll get married right now or anything. I’m just saying that between the two of us, I see no reason why we cannot raise a child. We are both responsible adults, and we both love that baby. So why shouldn’t we? I’m ready to make whatever changes I need to.”

“Aldous, it’s a big decision to make,” said Hallie, but her heart was beginning to thump.

Why not? Really, why shouldn’t they just take a chance and do this?

Aldous got up and came close to her, sitting down next to her. She felt her heart race, her skin heat in response to his closeness.

Maybe she could just stop thinking about all this and take, for once. She was already pregnant, with his child. What big difference could it make if they did what they both obviously wanted to do?

She leaned in to him, and that promise was in her eyes. If he thought that he could convince her by seducing her… Well, maybe he was right.

*****

“Aldous, will you stop worrying? This is routine. The doctor said this is routine.”

“Routine to her, but it’s the first time for both of us, isn’t it? You’re about to enter your third trimester, it’s a big deal, Hallie.”