Being Harrison Bloom’s Girl

Besides, the man really was adorable. No wonder all the girls had declared that he was a super hunk.

“Now, I… Oh sh*t, that might burn,” cried Roger, and rushed into the kitchen. It gave her a moment to appreciate how he looked in an apron.

She didn’t think she’d ever seen Harrison in an apron. Roger looked perfectly adorable in that completely splattered apron. He looked approachable and real. Harrison only looked approachable to people who didn’t know him very well.

She knew that he would’ve looked his most forbidding when he’d seen her name on the screen of the phone. Maybe he’d deleted all her photos. Maybe he had set all of that determination and strength he had to work, forgetting all about her, and he had succeeded. Why wouldn’t he? He always succeeded in everything he did.

That was Harrison Bloom’s signature – success. He would never let anything like a breakup stop him.

She should be happy for him, and give him the space he needed. She’d been the one to step away from him, after all. She had absolutely no right to resent anything he did to feel better.

She would never wish him anything but happiness.

“Close call, but nothing burnt. I hope you like it, it’s fish with my special sauce.”

“I don’t suppose you have any beer to go with it?”

Roger looked surprised.

“I didn’t know you were a beer drinker. I’d have guessed wine.”

Harrison knew that about her. Harrison knew everything about her.

“I guess I’m full of surprises,” said Leigh, trying to stop thinking about Harrison, but the more she tried, the more she seemed to think about him.

Grabbing the beer Roger held out, she walked to the kitchen, and for a moment, she did forget all about Harrison.

“Is clean-up my role for the evening?” asked Leigh, a little weakly, because the kitchen looked like a particularly furious tornado had ripped through it.

“Oh no, don’t worry, it looks a lot worse than it is. I’ll manage just fine. Don’t you worry about it. Why don’t you go into the living room and poke around at the books? Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

Leigh was glad to flee what looked like the scene of a very floury crime.

She was dreading dinner, but when he served, Leigh was pleasantly surprised when she took the first bite.

“Wow.”

Roger grinned.

“I know, right? You thought it would be dreadful after seeing the kitchen.”

Leigh grinned back.

“I did, but now I see why you get takeout. You cook extremely well, but the cleanup must be horrendous.”

Roger chuckled.

“It is. That’s why I only cook for people I really like.”

Leigh let that sink in.

He really liked her.

There, that had shattered her little illusion that everything was perfectly platonic between them. Leigh waited for the guilt, but it didn’t come. She was single, after all.

But the thought that she was single made the excellent fish with the delicious sauce feel like cardboard in her mouth.

“Leigh, are you all right? You look a little…”

Leigh smiled and shook her head.

“I’m fine. I don’t know what you did with this sauce, but it’s excellent. My cooking is very hit and miss. When it hits, it’s great, but when it misses, it’s inedible.”

“My ex-wife’s cooking is like that, too.”

Leigh frowned.

“You were married?”

“For a few years, when I was far too young. We were both too young, really, to understand what marriage meant. We made a commitment and wanted to stick to it, but it didn’t work out that way. First law school, then my work – I couldn’t seem to make it all work. There wasn’t enough time to make it all work. I was so focused on myself that I didn’t see how much she needed me to be there. Maybe the very fact that I didn’t need her to be there quite as badly should’ve told me that something was wrong. I refused to see it until she finally told me she’d had enough. She has a very quiet, lovely way about her. Even when she was twenty, she had such poise. She’d never do anything as crass as cause a scene. So, she told me, gently, that it was over, and I didn’t even fight for her.”

Leigh felt like she was holding her breath.

“I guess it was something like that for Harrison and me, too. I couldn’t seem to keep it all together.”

Roger smiled a little.

“It’s difficult. It’s difficult to straddle two worlds and try to fit in both.”

Leigh nodded, relieved beyond words that he seemed to understand.

“Did you… Did you ever regret it?”

Roger shrugged.

“Sometimes, when I’m lonely. But if you only miss somebody when you’re lonely, then it’s not really love, is it? Elaine deserved better. She has better life now – a family, and children, like she wanted. And we’re friends. I guess we were always meant to be friends.”

Leigh’s heart beat so hard that she wondered if he could see it.

“Do you regret it? Getting together with her, marrying her, then leaving her?”

Roger seemed to think about it before he shook his head.

“No. I guess I don’t regret anything. I don’t believe in regrets. For one thing, they’re pointless. For another, I wouldn’t be who I am now if things had happened differently. Everything that happens to us shapes who we are. I think I’m fine with who I am now.”

Roger smiled, and Leigh felt like her world was crashing down around her. Roger couldn’t possibly have known how his words would make her feel.

Leigh managed to get through dinner, and dessert. But her heart was no longer in it.

Finally, she rose.

“I’ll help you clean up.”

Roger smiled but shook his head.

“No, don’t worry about it. You don’t want to be here right now, Leigh. I can see that. We can talk later. It’s all right, I find cleaning up my own huge mess rather therapeutic.”

Leigh would’ve objected, should’ve insisted on helping.

But he was right.

She didn’t want to be there.

“Thank you. I’m so sorry, Roger. It’s been a great evening. You’ve no idea how much I needed it. But there’s something I really need to do now. I’ll explain later – I know I owe you an explanation.”

Roger smiled again, gently.

“You don’t owe me anything, Leigh. But when you’ve sorted things out, when you’ve found yourself again, I hope you’ll let me know.”

Leigh left, knowing what she had to do.

She knew, too, that it might be the stupidest thing she had ever done. It might be the silliest decision she had ever made. But it was her choice, and she had to do it.

Thinking clearly, she wrote a note for Hana once she got back to the dorm.

Dear Hana,

Cover for me tomorrow if you can, will you? I need to go. I need to see Harrison. I know, I’m an idiot, but I need to figure a few things out. I’ll see you soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Leigh

Before she could change her mind, Leigh packed quickly – just an overnight bag – and considered her phone.

No, she wasn’t going to call. It would do no good.

She got in her car, and she started driving to Harrison.