Being Harrison Bloom’s Girl

And yet, he hadn’t complained. Only she had.

She would make it up to him, she promised herself, and smoothed down the peach sheath she was wearing, with the scarf that was the colors of a beautiful sunset twined around her waist.

It felt like it had been a while since she’d worn something elegant and formal. But it helped her feel like the Leigh Harrison loved when she dressed up. He always looked so impeccably tailored and turned out.

She took a moment and felt herself grow calmer, the nerves settling.

He was there. He would always be there for her. Even when she didn’t quite deserve it, he would be there.

She walked to him, and he looked up as she approached. She hadn’t made a sound or called his name. He just seemed to sense her closeness.

“Leigh,” said Harrison, drawing to his feet, “you look lovely. I missed you.”

Leigh sighed and walked to him. Without a word, she closed the distance between them and stepped into his arms to hold him tight. Maybe the center she had found wasn’t quite right. Maybe she needed more of this.

“I missed you, too. I’m glad you came.”

His arms tightened around her, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m glad, too. I thought we might dine privately. I’ve got it all set up in the suite.”

Leigh smiled.

That did sound good.

“Lead on,” she said, with a smile, and she was comforted when she slipped a hand into his and he held on tight.

“Wow, you really did pull out all the stops,” said Leigh when he opened the door to the suite.

It looked like a garden from a fairytale. There were potted plants and flowers everywhere, and about a million tiny lights that illuminated perfectly without harshness. Candles without the fire hazard, she realized.

The door to the little terrace was open, and the table had been set up there. She saw the bucket that meant there was champagne on ice.

Harrison made a very quick call as she looked around, and he took her hand and led her out to the terrace.

“Mind if we eat here?”

“It looks perfect. I’d say you shouldn’t have, but… It’s perfect.”

Harrison smiled again, and drew her chair out for her.

Their appetizers had already been served, and Leigh sighed in happiness as she bit into the perfectly cooked stuffed mushroom.

“I’m kind of hungry. I missed lunch,” she confessed, as Harrison poured them both champagne.

“Go ahead. Here, have some of this,” said Harrison, offering her a little toast point with pate, and Leigh bit into it, savoring the richness.

This was her other life – a far cry from life on campus, as a student. She would find a way to make it all work.

But as dinner went on, Leigh began to realize one thing.

She might not be able to do it.

She loved Harrison. She loved being with him. But he could never be a part of her life as a student, because he would never fit in there. She would have to keep this part of her life separate from that one, and the stress of that, of sliding into one role and then another as if she were changing outfits, would get to her, eventually.

Leigh tried not to think about it, but the very decadence of the meal, the champagne, the casual renting of a suite and changing the way the entire hotel worked to make the evening work as he wanted it to – it was so different from her life now, where she didn’t make any of the rules.

The concept of living by somebody else’s rules would be anathema to somebody like Harrison.

When she saw dessert – delicate little globules that burst with flavor, and a creamy mousse to go with it – something clicked.

“You brought your own chef.”

Harrison grinned, and Leigh knew that he didn’t understand why the idea seemed so utterly jarring to her.

“I did. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance tonight. Tonight is special.”

But Leigh was beginning to feel as if something was wrong – something was horribly, terribly wrong. The way she felt, it wasn’t right.

“Harrison…”

“Don’t you like it?”

Leigh swallowed.

“Of course I do. It’s all perfect.”

And it was absolutely churlish of her to complain, when he had gone out of his way to make no waves even as he fit everything around him to suit. He had found a way to make everything exactly the way he liked it, without causing her any discomfort.

She should’ve appreciated that.

Except, that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted him to make an effort to fit in, instead of changing everything around to suit him.

Leigh glanced up when she noticed him move, and felt him reaching for her hand. She knew her hands were cold as she gave it to him.

“I guess it’s a little chilly out here now. Come, let’s have dessert inside.”

Leigh followed him as he went in, carrying their plates, and set them down on the little table there. He sat down, and held his arms out to her.

Searching for that certainty she had felt a little while earlier, she walked to him, and he pulled her onto his lap.

“Leigh, I love you. You know how much I love you.”

Leigh smiled and nodded, and when he kissed her, she accepted the kiss, and tried to return the passion she felt for him. That she had taken for granted.

That was easy, she realized, as her body seemed to awaken to his touch.

The passion was easy.

She wanted to lose herself in him. She wanted him to make love to her until she stopped thinking.

But he pulled away, and looked at her steadily.

“Leigh, I know things have been difficult. I want to ask you something.”

She went still. Maybe he had had the same thought that she was beginning to have – that they needed a break. But that hurt, too, so much.

“All right,” she said, waiting.

“I think we both need to have something to hold on to. Something to remind us that we have each other, that no matter how difficult things get, the troubles will be temporary, because we will have each other, no matter what.”

Leigh felt off balance.

That hadn’t been what she was thinking, not at all.

But she smiled and nodded, relieved that he hadn’t asked for a break.

“Leigh, I was keeping this for a more apt time, when we both had the time to plan. But I think we both need this now. So…”

He shifted a little to reach into his pocket and pulled the box out. Leigh’s heart seemed to slow down, until it almost stopped, and then started again, faster and faster until she felt like she might hyperventilate.

“Harrison…”

“Let’s get engaged. We don’t have to get married until you graduate. But let’s have something more to celebrate when you do. Call it a promise – a reminder of what really matters. A promise that we belong to each other.”

Leigh knew the ring before he opened the box. She had seen it before, once.

And she knew that she couldn’t take it. The realization was like a bucket of icy water dumped over her, freezing her heart, and she wished it had stopped. It was like a shard of ice piercing her heart.

“Harrison… Harrison, I can’t.”

He looked shocked.

“Why not?”

Leigh got up and backed away from him, shaking her head.

“I can’t. You don’t understand. I can’t make you understand. I can’t get engaged now. Harrison… I think we need to take a break. I think we need a break from each other. That’s what we need, not to get engaged. I… I can’t!”

On a strangled sob, she turned, and like the coward she felt like, she fled, away from him, away from his demands, and the promise that he had offered.

Like a fool, Leigh ran from everything she had wanted, and she didn’t even know why.