Are You The One?

He had been so good these past few weeks, being there and taking care of her. She didn’t know if that was because he truly cared about her or if he was just being kind about their situation. She decided that she didn’t want to know. He did ask for them to try a relationship once the abortion was completed which left her hopeful but the tiny voice in the back of her mind fed her horrible thoughts. What if he was only saying that so she wouldn’t feel so guilty about what they were about to do. What if he only wanted to try so that she wouldn’t feel like a sl*t who got knocked up after a one-night stand?

Another, weaker voice said he couldn’t take care of her the way he did if he didn’t feel something. He couldn’t make love to her if there was nothing there could he?

She was a little over two months into her pregnancy and the decision she and Cliff had made was becoming harder and harder to face.

On Thursday night Brit was nervous. In the morning they would be driving to the clinic. The only problem was Brittany was having second thoughts.

It had started the night of Holly’s visit. She knew it was silly, considering the circumstances but she didn’t drink to keep the fetus safe. How ironic she thought to herself. Then the following night with the Tara blow-up. She was bothered by how understanding Holly had been and how stubborn Tara had been. She did not want to speak to her but then the next day she started experiencing something she never did before. Tiny flutters of explosions inside of her belly. It felt like butterflies. She knew that it was her baby, hers and Cliff’s growing inside of her. It confused her, making her both happy and sad. She was restless and began having bad dreams. In them she was walking along when she heard her baby crying. She searched and searched but couldn’t find him. She called for Cliff to help but couldn’t find him either. She woke up in a cold sweat, exhausted physically and emotionally. When Cliff questioned her she told him the morning sickness was taking its toll.

Brit leaned against the bathroom counter and proceeded to have another panic attack.  What on earth was she going to say to him? It had been a great week but that didn’t mean he wanted a baby. It was just ever since she had felt the fluttering in her stomach her mind had changed. She was falling in love with this child. She cradled her belly unsure of what to do. How could she end this pregnancy? But she had made her decision and Cliff seemed to agree with her decision. What would he say if she suddenly changed her mind? Would he think she was just using him for his money? That this baby was a way to trap him? She wasn’t sure and she was scared to find out.

The next morning, she hardly said a word on their way to the clinic. As they drove Brit made up her mind. Cliff pulled into the parking spot with a sigh.

“Brit.”

“Cliff,” she said at the same time.

“Sorry. Go ahead,” he urged.

“No you first,” she insisted.

“Brittany please. What is it?”

“Cliff…I don’t want to do this. I’ve been thinking and I want to keep this baby. You wouldn’t have to do anything. I can…”

“Brit,” he said.

“No let me finish please. Before I lose my nerve. I’m not asking for financial support. You can be involved as much or as little as you want. I can do this. And please don’t try to talk me out of it.”

“Brit…”

“No really. I’ve been thinking. I’m making decent money at the magazine. I can work most days from home. The second bedroom could be a nursery. People do this all the time.”

“Brittany!”

“Yes?”

“What I wanted to say was that I support whatever you decide but…I was going to ask you to please reconsider,” Cliff said quietly.

“Reconsider?”

“Yes. I’ve been thinking and I want us to have this baby. Brit I think I want us to try and make this whole thing work. What do you think?” Cliff asked hopefully.

“Really? And you want to be in the baby’s life?” she questioned incredulously.

“Yes. More than anything and as much as you’ll let me. I’ll be honest I wasn’t thinking about having kids right now. Or maybe even ever but now that you’re pregnant the idea is kind of growing on me,” Cliff said taking her hand.

“So what do we do?” Brit asked.

“Well for starters we get out of this parking lot and go home. Maybe get some waffles?” Cliff grinned.

“Waffles sound great,” she admitted.

After breakfast they returned to Cliff’s where they spent a great deal discussing the baby. Cliff not only wanted to be a father but he also wanted to explore his relationship with Brittany as well.

“I’m really glad you’re on board with this,” Brit said.

“I honestly wanted you to keep the baby when you first told me but I also wanted to be supportive of your decision,” he responded.

“You’ve been great. I think we can make this work,” she said.

“You don’t look convinced. In fact, you look scared,” he noted.

She told him she was nervous about the baby. She hadn’t thought about becoming a mother at just twenty-five. She was also scared about telling her parents. She wanted to tell them right away now that they had made a decision, she didn’t want to blindside them. Cliff held her hand as she called her parents on Facetime. They were shocked but after their initial reaction, her mother was very happy and congratulated them both. Her father however was not very talkative and remained with a stoic expression. When Brit asked him to please say something he muttered that he didn’t even know she was dating someone and he should have never let her go to California. Her mother shushed him, took the phone and asked a million questions.  It was all rather exhausting to Brit. She wanted to fly to California right away but Brit convinced her that she was fine and Cliff promised he would take care of her daughter. She didn’t seem convinced but Cliff was able to quell their concerns by telling them the two of them would fly there soon so that they could meet him in person. Overall it wasn’t as stressful a call as Brit imagined with Cliff by her side.