Accept My Baby

Chapter 8

When she woke up in the morning, Amanda felt sick. It was like everything she had eaten just wanted out of her body. She jolted out of bed and ran to the bathroom leaving a still tired but confused Rafael in bed. Her heart was racing as she bent over the toilet bowl emptying her guts in what seemed to take forever.

Worried, Rafael got up and walked over to the bathroom. He knocked gently on the door and pressed his ear to the wooden door.

“Amanda,” he said as he knocked on the door. “Is everything alright in there?” he asked. She mumbled out something that sounded like a ‘yes’ but he was not really sure. He sighed his relief when he heard the water running. It seemed like an awfully long time before she finally opened the door. “It’s a little early for a shower, don’t you think so?” he joked, forcing a smile.

She looked at him and a shiver ran through her body. He grabbed a bathrobe from the rack next to the bathroom door and draped it over her shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Amanda said in a weak voice as she wiped the water off her face.

“Why would you be?” he asked, an arm around her waist. He walked her over to the bed and gently held her cold cheek. He was looking into her eyes and she was breathing heavily. She looked at him and forced a smile. She suddenly felt a wave of guilt washing over her. She wanted to tell him. She needed to tell him…it was not just about the moral code she lived by. But it was also the fact that she had checked him out and found something else out. Something a little more disturbing.

His age.

At first she thought that the tabloids were wrong and she had always been one who lived by the ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’ rule but this time, there was so much more to it. She literally had another life riding on this. She looked at him and bit her lower lip.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I’m fine…my tummy is just a little unsettled,” she lied.

“Was it the linguine? Because people have complained that I can go a little overboard with the spices,” he pointed out and she shook her head. “My third cousin from India said that and you know India is like the spice capital of the world.”

Amanda smiled.

“The sauce was great..delicious actually.”

“Then what is it? Because if I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn that you were throwing up in there.”

She looked at him and bit her lower lip again. She did not know how to say what she had on her mind because it could have been a lie. One of the biggest lies she ever had to tell. She was trying to get the right words to say but her mind was blank. As she looked at him, she suddenly noticed the color draining from Rafael’s face.

“Oh sh*t,” he muttered under his breath. “I knocked you up, didn’t I?” he said and she shook her head.

“It doesn’t work like that, Rafael,” she said in a low voice.

“I should have used a condom…I should have wrapped up…” Rafael was spiraling. And Amanda could feel her head exploding. He needed to stop and he needed to stop soon.

“Rafael…” she started but he was now pacing up and down as she sat on the bed looking at him. He had his head buried in his hands as he paced up and down. He was muttering to himself but she just couldn’t hear him. She had tuned him out as much as she could because she was trying to figure out how she was going to tell him. They were the simplest of words – telling him that she was pregnant – but at the same time, she was also trying not to melt down. She could not afford to have the only two people in the room melting down.

“Rafael…seriously, you need to calm down,” she said as she gently rubbed her temples.

“No, I should have been more careful and everything…I mean, right now…” he wouldn’t stop.

She looked at him and sighed loudly before she stood up. She walked up to him and held his head in her hands and he suddenly went silent.

“Look at me, Rafael,” she said as she took his hand in his but he still looked scared and confused.

They walked towards the bed and he looked at her. She could tell just by looking at him that he was still freaked out. It was cute. A little too cute.

“Rafael,” she started as she looked at him. “I am pregnant,” she finally admitted and he looked at her for a long minute before he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I knew it,” he muttered under his breath.

“I should have told you about it,” she whispered. “I am sorry but I should really have told you.”

“Wait, what do you mean, you should have told me?” he asked and she sighed loudly. “You mean that I am not…” he started before she shook her head.

“You should have really payed more attention to the biology classes.”

“I was more about physics and chemistry,” he said and she smiled.

“Of course you were.”

She expected nothing less of him.

“You did not do this to me,” she said in a soft voice. “I promise you…I am at least a month and a half along.”

“So your ex…is the father?” he asked and she nodded.

“Unfortunately,” she whispered.

“I am not sure what I am supposed to say here but do you already know what you are going to do about it?”

She forced out a laugh and shook her head.

“I don’t really know what I am going to do. I want to keep the baby but at the same time I want to have the situation handled…it’s something that I have not really figured out yet. I mean, I have been thinking about it but at the same time I can’t help but wonder what this means if I decide to keep the baby.”

“It’s just a baby. It has nothing to do with whatever drama is going on with you and your ex.”

“I know but at the same time all I can think of is the fact that every single time I will be looking at the poor little thing, I will only be seeing Brett.”

Rafael reached for her hand and raised it to his lips.

“Well, I won’t,” he said in a soft voice and she shook her head.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, I have been with a lot of women…” he started and she sighed.

“You should really stop reminding me that.”

He smiled.