Accept My Baby

“Okay,” she said in a soft voice.

“Alright. I know you are American. I know that much. So, let’s start there. The move to Turin, it’s not just a work assignment, is it?”

She shook her head.

“And I am guessing it is not just a vacation either.”

“No, it isn’t,” she said.

“Now, we’re getting somewhere,” Rafael said, smiling.

“Okay my story is not as great as yours, I have to warn you,” she said and he nodded.

“Okay.”

“I’m not seeing anyone writing a book or making a lifetime movie about it any time soon or anything of the sort.”

“I am not looking for a Lifetime adaptation, Amanda. I just want to know who you are,” he said and she nodded.

“Alright,” she started as she put the side plate with her cake on the coffee table. “I was in a relationship with a man for a long time. Years, to be specific,” she started.

“How many years are we talking about here?” he asked and she forced out a smile.

“Eight years,” she said.

“That’s a long time.”

Amanda nodded.

“I know…everyone kept asking me why we were not making everything official …after all, we did buy a house together.”

“Well, now I am intrigued,” Rafael said, resting his elbow on the couch headrest. “Why didn’t you?”

She took a long deep breath.

“I don’t really know. I guess at the back of my mind I always wondered if I was the one with reservations or if it was just my insecurities playing with my emotions.”

She subconsciously began tugging at the hem of her dress.

“I think it was always there. The doubt, the constant fear that I would not live up to his expectations or something of the sort,” she said as she looked up. “At first it was just the usual: working late and the like but soon enough everything changed. We no longer spent as much time as we used to together and I kept on blaming it on the fact that he was a busy guy. I mean hedge fund management is a big deal and it can take a lot out of you.”

“You are making excuses for him, aren’t you?” Rafael asked and she shook her head.

She did not know what she was doing. She did not understand why she was saying the things she was saying. But it was like she just could not help it.

“I think I am,” she said after a long silence.

“Well, you shouldn’t,” Rafael said.

She smiled and shook her head. She did not mean to. But it just happened. For some crazy reason, that was exactly what was happening.

“What did he do?” he asked. “Did he hurt you? Did he beat you?”

“He did hurt me but not physically. He was having an affair with my friend and next door neighbor for the better part of two years.”

Rafael was trying to react in any way but for some reason, he couldn’t. All he could do was look at her, his mouth slightly agape. She looked at him and forced out a laugh.

“I know this is ridiculously cliche.”

“It might be but that does not mean that it is not terrible.” He stretched his hand out and took her hand in his. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”

She looked into his eyes and shrugged.

“I’m not. It exposed the bas*ard that I had held in so much regard for the asshole he truly is and I finally got to get away from him…I mean, there is the small factor of how I am going to get out of the house co-ownership…” her voice trailed off when she noticed the way he was looking at her.

It was not the same way he had been looking at her for the past twenty minutes they had shared their life story. There was something more about how he was looking at her. It was like he was seeing through her. Seeing her for the first time. “What is it?” she asked in a whisper.

“So, what you have just told me in so many words is that you are a free agent right now,” he said and she nodded.

“You know for a European man, you are very well versed in American metaphoric talk,” she said, trying hard to ignore the fact that he was slowly getting closer to her.

“Maybe that is because I spent the better part of my academic life in America but that is besides the point.” He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “I have been trying to get the perfect excuse to kiss you and you just gave me the golden ticket.”

“I don’t want you to take me home,” she said in a low voice.