She hated the words as she spoke them. Every one of the words. It felt to her as if she was cutting at her own heart, but they were the truth, and true words had to be spoken.
He said nothing, he only sat there holding her hand, and she turned her head away from him and fell asleep again.
Claire was well enough to leave the following day. She dressed and spoke, looking away from Nicholas as she did.
“I have to get back to the manor today. They’ll be wondering where I am,” she said as she fastened the buttons on the blouse that Nicholas had given to her.
“No, there’s no need for an explanation. I told the staff there that I was taking you on a little holiday to the beach. I said you’d never seen it. They were pleased that you were going.
So, when you go back, just tell them how much you loved the seaside.” He spoke quietly and evenly, his eyes ever on her.
She turned to look at him then. “You’ve taken care of everything. I don’t know how I can ever thank you.”
He came to her and wrapped her in a warm hug, holding her close to him. “There are no thanks needed. I just want you happy and safe. That’s what you can give back to me. Be happy, and be safe.”
She hugged him back, and when she let him go, she took a step backward. “I’ll be going back to Manhattan soon. This will be the last time I see you.” She hated saying that to him, just as she had hated telling him that she would not stay with him. “What has happened between us, especially here in your bed… that can never happen between us again. I can’t need you like I do and leave. It’s too difficult. Please understand. This really has to be the end for us.”
He nodded. “I understand,” he said quietly and simply. “I’ll let you go, if that’s what you truly want.”
*
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She looked away from him, down at her hands. “That’s what I truly want,” she answered.
“Very well, then kiss me goodbye,” he whispered.
She looked up at him with tears building, and she stared into his green eyes for a long moment before she closed her own eyes and their lips met in a soft touch. It felt like the whole world was spinning around her, and the only thing in it that was strong, steady, and made any kind of sense at all to her, was him.
Then the sensation was gone, and the feel of his lips disappeared. She heard his whisper in her ears. “I love you, always,” he said, and there was silence.
Claire opened her eyes and found herself in her bedroom, alone. She looked around and suddenly drew her hand to her chest, pressing hard on the place where her heart was trying desperately to beat and not break, just below her hand. She knew that she was truly alone.