A Fresh Start

Chapter 5

Violet took a deep, steadying breath. She wasn’t sure what to tell her daughter, who was looking at her like she had all the answers.

Grace watched as shock was slowly replaced by confusion and concern on Violet’s face. She knew she was worrying her mother. She hated that. But Violet was the wisest, most sensible person she knew. Violet would know what to do. Grace believed that absolutely.

When all else failed, turn to Violet, and she’ll tell you what to do. That had been Grace’s motto in life, though Violet insisted on Grace taking responsibility for her decisions, too.

“Grace, there’s one thing you haven’t told me. How do you feel about this?”

Grace bit her lip and sighed. Trust her mother to find the real sore spot.

“I feel like a fool,” admitted Grace.

“Why?”

Grace sighed again.

“I thought it was a date, Mama. He was auditioning me for a role and interviewing me for a job, not taking me out on a date. I thought it was a date. I went with butterflies in my stomach. Not the nervous kind you get when you’re facing a deadline or the boss calls you into the office. The good kind, that make you believe that something special is starting. I thought the date was going well, too. I was really happy, I could hardly believe that I was on a date with Alan Barden. I’d stopped thinking of him as Alan Barden, for a bit. I thought of him as just Alan, my date. But he wasn’t, was he? It had nothing to do with the connection. I’d just be a tool to him.”

Violet nodded.

“So it would be a job. It would be a job that could lead to publication, which is what you thought your current job at Keys would be.”

Grace nodded.

“That will never happen, I think. I thought I’d finally gotten a foot in the door, but, well, it’s just about impossible to be noticed at Keys unless you’re related to somebody. I’m not.”

Violet nodded again, slowly.

“I think you should consider it, Grace. But only if you can have a lawyer go through the prenup and make sure that it isn’t more than a one-year contract, to begin with. There needs to be some plan for when you meet somebody you’re interested in and want to start dating him. Time limits, they’re important.”

Grace gaped at her mother.

“Wait, you’re not telling me that it’s disgraceful and I shouldn’t consider it at all?”

Violet shrugged.

“It is disgraceful, how he treated you, and how he wants to use marriage so shamelessly. But you knew that already, Grace. If you were going to turn him down because of that, you wouldn’t have come to me now.”

That was true. Why did Violet always have to be right? It was annoying.

“But he deceived me!”

“He did. I cannot like him because of that. But if it’s a legal contract and he lives up to his word, it would be a job, for a year. The real problem here, Grace, I think, is how you feel.”

Grace’s shoulders slumped.

“I don’t know how I feel,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not saying that you do. But you’ve had a crush on this man for so long, Gracie. Can you be married to him and think of it as a job? Can you deal with that without getting hurt?”

“I don’t know,” admitted Grace.

“Well, that’s what you need to think about, before anything else. That’s the real crux of the matter here. For the rest of it, well, if you’re really going to focus on your writing, you won’t have time to date for the next year, anyway. So that doesn’t really matter as much as it might. For the rest of it, it sounds like a job as a personal assistant and speaker, which would be quite perfect for you.”

“I’d be Alan Barden’s assistant, who also happens to be married to him,” said Grace dolefully.

Violet smiled a bit.

“Yes, you would be. I’m not saying I approve, Gracie. But turning this down might be turning your back on your dream to be published. This is a shortcut, and, well, sometimes shortcuts are okay. But I don’t know if you feel as if you can do this without getting hurt. That’s my biggest concern here.”

Grace tried to harden her heart and her face. It didn’t work very well.

“I think… I feel humiliated by how he went about this. I feel like such a fool!”

Violet held Grace as she shed a few tears, and worried about how her daughter might end up getting hurt thanks to this man and his unconventional offer.

She didn’t like it, not one bit. But she had taken a few very hard knocks in the world and knew that to get what you want, you had to make compromises and sacrifices. From the moment Grace held her first pencil, she’d wanted to be a writer. This might be her best chance to get published and do something about her dream.

Violet was obliged to think the best of her daughter and her talent, but objectively, she knew that Grace was a very good writer. She was talented. It was an unfair world where she might have to make such a compromise to be able to use that talent as it should be used, but there was no point crying about that.

Grace had tried the conventional way. She had sent her CV out to numerous companies, sent queries to publishing houses, finally gotten herself a job at a publishing house. But it was an uphill battle, and here she’d gotten a shortcut.

It might not be an admirable way to do it. But Grace had paid her dues. God knew, Violet had paid enough dues for the two of them.

But if this man hurt her Gracie, he would bring the wrath of Violet down on himself. She didn’t give a damn how rich or famous or powerful he was. She would not let him hurt her daughter.

Violet watched over Grace as she finally slept, and worried. What else could a mother do?

*****

Grace woke up and checked her email. There was nothing from Alan. But there was one from Rachel.

Pursing her lips, she opened it.

Dear Grace,

First of all, let me apologize. Alan isn’t known for subtlety or knowing how to handle social cues. I know he didn’t handle this very well, but I hope you will let me try.

When I saw you at the event, I was impressed by how personable and competent you are. You are lovely and likable, apart from being efficient and intelligent. Those are qualities that are invaluable in a personal assistant to a forgetful and often moody recluse who gets his way far too often.

In essence, this would be a job. It would mean that you’d be his personal assistant and companion. It would be, pretty much, a round-the-clock job, and unfortunately, the marriage part of it is necessary.

His fans would accept Mrs. Barden standing in for Alan Barden, as long as Alan Barden is visible in the background. They would accept a narrative where Mrs. Barden takes care of everything for her reclusive genius husband. But they would not accept the same from a personal assistant and paid companion. There’s no personal connect there. There’s no story there, and a story they will relate to is necessary.

You’ve been in the publishing industry long enough to recognize the truth in that.